For the first time ever, Ian fell asleep in my arms without nursing. He got mommymilk earlier as usual but at one point I said in exasperation, as he wiggled and switched sides for the 15th time, “Do you want to just snuggle with no mommymilk?” I was surprised to hear him say, quietly, “Okay.” We were just rocking when he fell asleep. I don’t expect that he’ll never want to nurse to sleep again, of course, but ah, what a relief, and I’m hopeful. I guess it’s not just pregnancy that makes me feel irritable about nursing. Maybe it’s something about the size of my toddler. But despite the irritation, I have not wanted to push him to give it up. So I’ve been getting antsier about it for months.
As I was holding my son and rocking him, feeling his weight and warmth all snuggly, feeling relieved to not be nursing for a change, I decided that I just wish the nursing was done. I’d be very happy to continue rocking him to sleep for many many more months.